Last night I watched Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt for what has to be like the 12th time.  I know I have read the book only once, way back when I was still in high school, but oddly enough it is the movie I come back to time and again.  However, I have read The Vampire Lestat along with Queen of the Damned dozens of times each, but only watched the movie maybe six times.  It’s odd how I can love to read one book about the same characters but prefer watching a movie about them instead of reading the book, even though I know the books are almost always better than the movie.  The only reason I can think for this is because Brat Pitt was so damn hot playing Louis de Pointe du Lac.  Now as for my love of all things vampiric, there are other reasons.

Why does the public have such a lustful love of the vampire world?  Many have speculated over the years the vampires in movies were created as a synonym for the sexual act, a tongue-in-cheek move way back when movie makers were still sympathetic to the average person’s delicate constitutions.  To be sure, in the real life vampire subculture around the United States, one has only to “bite” a woman to see her orgasm in bliss right before your very eyes.  And while the allure of the vampire is mostly rooted in sexual desire, I will explore the five reasons why I, and possibly the general public, find vampires so absolutely irresistible.

6.  Eternal life: if you are the type to get bored easily or are a social butterfly, immortality may not best be suited to you. However, if you are the type who loves to sit for hours by yourself contemplating life, a good book, or your recent lunch, then an eternity spent alone might be for you. While it would certainly get depressing watching everyone you know and love slowly withering away to dust around you, imagine all the things you could accomplish if you knew you weren’t limited by that pesky little thing known as time. You would finally be able to read all those books which have been collecting proverbial dust on your Kindle, binge watch all those movies you haven’t had the time to fit into your schedule, and you finally don’t have an excuse for not hitting the gym on a regular basis. Knowledge truly is power, so just imagine everything you could learn if you had all the time in the world. Not to mention how awesome your 401K is going to look when you literally have an eternity to devote to saving up for your retirement.

5.  The sex appeal:  Perhaps one of the most popular reasons why vampires have been so iconic over the centuries is their universal sex appeal, especially in the past few decades.  Long gone are the days of Nosferatu when vampires were bug-eyed and saw-toothed with a face only a mother could love.  In all the books I have read which have been published in the last fifty odd years, the vampire is synonymous with sex. They all have perfect hair, perfect bodies, and beautiful faces.  Even those who were less-than-aesthetically pleasing to the eyes while still alive are somehow transformed by the embrace of the vampire, leaving them suave, sultry, and seductive. Not only are their smooth voices and gorgeous bodies a main reason for one to want to be seduced by a vampire, but it’s also a very good reason why many have thought seriously about leaving this life of mortality behind for the dark gifts which await on the other side of the vampire’s embrace.

4.  The iconic bad boy:  Even men are drawn to the allure of the “bad girl.” For women, we are always chasing after them, swooning into their arms, and worshiping at their feet. They are like the ultimate rock god with their brooding moods, perfectly messy hair, chiseled good looks, and mysterious demeanor.  They are dark, ethereal, untamed, and always the perfect lover.  What woman could resist trying to domesticate such a wild and sexually deviant animal? He’s dangerous and gorgeous with a stare that cuts straight into your soul, causes your heart to skip a beat, and sends your blood racing through your veins.

3.  The dominant figure:  Going along with the sex appeal and bad boy image, the vampire is usually a very dominant figure not only in his actions and tone, but also in the bedroom.  It could be argued that secretly some, if not most women, desire to be dominated in the bedroom, to be so absolutely caught up and swept off their feet they lose themselves completely in the moment. And if the vampire’s sultry voice and piercing gaze does not have you going weak in the knees, then the vampire mind trickery will have you begging them to take you in every way imaginable. It’s almost like BDSM, only with pale skin and piercing eyes and that whole allergy to sunlight thing.

2.  The cool perks:  As if the perfectly chiseled body, the spark of danger, and the ideal lover were not reasons enough to want to date a vampire, all the cool super “powers” that come with being embraced is certainly enticing enough to cause even the most level-headed person to reconsider.  Say goodbye to wrinkles forever, grey hair, and having to worry about the ‘flu cause vampires don’t age and they don’t get sick. Not to mention gaining the ability to control another’s thoughts and actions, the possibility of flying or foreseeing future events, and all the other little perks of becoming a vampire which are certainly thrilling and tempting to say the least.  Unfortunately, if you are a sun worshipper, you may want to rethink your waltz on the dark side.  Beware those nasty sunburns as they can prove fatal.  And I hear that the daily cuisine could take some getting used to. But hey, if you are into pale skin, chiseled good looks, becoming a night owl, and a brooding attitude, maybe becoming a vampire is just the right move for you.

1.  And perhaps the number one reason why we are all so drawn to vampires? Because Brat Pitt was so damn HAWT.  Of course, Stewart Townsend wasn’t too shabby as Lestat either.